Contemplative Haven

Dec 13 2007

Maybe Tomorrow

Published by gabrielle at 1:27 am under Abandonment, Detachment, Present Moment, Time

[Excerpt from "Heart of the World", by Hans Urs von Balthasar]

Or I can postpone guilt until tomorrow. The eye that looks at me fixedly always says “today.” “It is now that I want to be loved.” But I lower my eyes and say: “I will love you tomorrow. Tomorrow you’ll see what I’m capable of doing for you. You’ll see the sacrifices I’ll bring to you. Tomorrow I’ll pay you twice over if you’ll only grant me this one hour today. I must yet pluck the rose before it fades away, but the rosehips I’ll bring you for sure. Give me the spring and I’ll let you have the autumn, maybe even late summer. Just for today turn away your gaze, and starting tomorrow you’ll be able to look at me all you like.” “I’m coming now, I’m coming right away!” the child cries up to his mother when she calls him in, and he finishes playing his game, thinking that surely obedience includes a certain period of grace – a human margin. Who could all at once make a clean break with his life? Why, God, do you want to jump steps in my case? You want the whole thing all at once: one’s whole heart, whole soul, whole mind – all my strength…

10 responses so far

10 Responses to “Maybe Tomorrow”

# JustMeon 13 Dec 2007 at 10:09 am

A sobering reminder. Leave it to a Jesuit (and a Gabrielle).

Yep, this is a conviction of my own daily thought: Oh, not today.. or not all.. or not right away.. I could be so much worse, after all. How about some more dribs and drabs for You, Lord? You’re used to it from me, aren’t You?

Whew.
# Annon 13 Dec 2007 at 11:56 am

As Justme says, a sobering reminder. Tomorrow I’ll do this, after Christmas I might start that, sure it’ll be worthwhile, but meantime I’ll just be me, doing my own thing, my way.
# lucyon 13 Dec 2007 at 8:00 pm

i have to wonder how much we miss when we keep saying “tomorrow”…for in reality tomorrow never comes, does it?
# Cathy Kelleron 13 Dec 2007 at 9:36 pm

I guess what I need to do is assess what it is I did do today that was asked of me and then tomorrow might not be too difficult. Surely, I did something today that he asked of me. I really hope so. I need to listen more intently…I’m really NOT hard of hearing.
# JustMeon 13 Dec 2007 at 10:42 pm

Lucy, pardon me– I’m a little slow these days.. I think I know what you mean, but could you elaborate, please, on how it is that tomorrow never comes?
# Carolon 13 Dec 2007 at 10:58 pm

Cathy, that’s a hopeful view — that you surely did something today that he asked of you. You probably did many things that have sprouted from seeds that were planted, or re-planted, long ago. If one scratches the surface of a Christian of good will, a little “yes” will be revealed. Is it any wonder, then, that we must ultimately ‘lose’ all our pores, that all the “yesses” might spring forth freely at last. It boggles the mind to think that some can free them even now..

Yes, maybe an all-yes/all-the-time is a matter of listening to Him more intently.
# Gabrielleon 14 Dec 2007 at 9:37 am

I know that the gist of this passage is the “putting off” of what we are called to do and of how we are called to love, in favour of something we prefer to choose in the temporal realm, and of how we do often rely on this “period of grace” we hope will be given us. But I also know that I’m not alone in the frustration of feeling incapable of doing what I know I’ve been called to, because of the circumstances in which I find myself. Sometimes the “maybe after Christmas” or the “I’ll give you the autumn” is a way of expressing “Lord, don’t give up on me, please.” Part of the trouble, I think, stems from our thinking that we don’t want the Lord to look at us in the midst of our chaos and confusion, but I guess we shouldn’t worry about that. He knows anyway, and would like to journey with us through the mess.
# Carolon 14 Dec 2007 at 12:51 pm

Sometimes, all I’ve been able to say in words is, “Don’t lose me, Lord!” And always, that has been enough to not be lost. He throws me onto some saint’s back to be carried a while.

G, your saying we don’t want Him to look at us in the midst of our chaos and confusion (”Wait, I’m getting my act together–really..”), reminded me of something Cosmo Kramer said in an episode of Seinfeld, “*gasp Don’t look at me — I’m hideous!” I smiled at that, but faintly; I am hideous where only He can see–but He chooses to see potential landscape. Oh, how much the hideous marvel at His vision.
# Swede1875on 16 Dec 2007 at 7:31 am

Reading this and listening to “Gaudete” from the post above… – Thanks for that great reminder. I needed it (as I guess most of us does from time to time).
# gabrielleon 16 Dec 2007 at 12:40 pm

The world often beats away at our courage and hope, doesn’t it. I thank the Lord for people like yourselves who greatly help to sustain me and so many others.