Contemplative Haven

May 10 2007

Distracted

Published by gabrielle at 2:09 pm under Poverty

My train of thought re detachment has been interrupted once again. This time, by something I just read. When asked, “What is poverty?”, here were the responses of some Grade 4 and 5 children from North Bay, Ontario. Poverty is:

feeling ashamed when my Dad can’t get a job
pretending that you forgot your lunch
being teased for the way you are dressed
being afraid to tell your Mom you need gym shoes
hearing Mom and Dad fight over money
hiding your feet so the teacher won’t get cross when you don’t have boots

Poverty is. Poverty is. Poverty is.

14 responses so far

14 Responses to “Distracted”

# forget me noton 10 May 2007 at 4:47 pm

It’s awful how there are so many situations
right under our noses. I wonder if the teachers
realized they would get this kind of response.
# gypsyon 11 May 2007 at 10:41 am

Comments from the kids are all something I know either personally, or via my own children at one time, and yes, it’s widespread. But as a friend of mine said once when she hit the economic skids, “If only I’d known, Carol, I’d have helped more. I’m sorry.” The passion is there, in us all… it’s just that we don’t know where or how to act on it sometimes. Teachers here in the land of seeming plenty can be ignorami, but perhaps some will see your post and stop to think before they put yet another burden on a mortified child.
# gabrielleon 11 May 2007 at 11:47 am

I’m sorry, I in no way meant to cast aspersions on teachers. I should have written more, or nothing at all, I guess. These responses were given, I suppose as part of a questionnaire, on poverty in Canada, to do with the “2006 Report Card on Child and Family Poverty in Canada.” They say 1.2 million children in Canada live in poverty. That’s one out of six children. These childrens’ responses hit me because they hit close to home re childhood memories. My experience with teachers over the course of my involvement with the school system as an adult has been only good, in terms of sensitivity to disadvantaged children in the classroom.
# forget me noton 11 May 2007 at 3:02 pm

What I meant was that sometimes, those who are struggling with poverty are the so called “new poor” – people who had some kind of means which are suddenly gone, so you don’t see it so much on the outside. So many teachers may have just found out about these situations through this questionnaire. And I’m sure they tried to help the kids in some way.
# Gabrielleon 11 May 2007 at 4:05 pm

That’s so true, fmn, about the “new poor”. We had a speaker at our parish not long ago, from the local food bank, who was telling us that some people resent seeing people drive up in nice cars and going in to get food, but that the fact of the matter was that they had lost their jobs, all their money was going towards rent, and they needed the car in order to get around for interviews, take whatever jobs they could find sometimes further out from the city, etc. We have to be very careful not to judge by appearances, for so many times things are really not as they appear to be.
# teresaon 11 May 2007 at 4:44 pm

as a former inner city classroom/choral music teacher in the public schools I dreaded the secular Christmas and Thanksgiving celebrations which we were required to put on every year.
The kids that lived in shelters were visably disturbed and embarrassed when the focus and music was re: pigging out at the Thanksgiving feast with the huge crowd at Grandma’s house and the abundance of presents under the blue spruce on Christmas Day!

A an eye opening book I read last year is titled: “Nickel and Dimed” … the working poor in America.

Hi all!
teresa_anawim
# gypsyon 11 May 2007 at 5:06 pm

Oh, we know your heart, Gabrielle, and I’d clarify that teachers and others cast aspersions on themselves. I could tell you horror tales about public schooling my children, things which an ounce more of their thinking or compassion could’ve avoided. If I had it to do over again, as MUCH as I looked forward to Septembers, I would homeschool instead. Not one of my kids say to this, “Oh, but I turned out alright.” The damages were huge, but there are some absolutely stunning teachers everywhere — and those we all bow low to, even 40 years later.

Yes, FMN, the new(ly)poor.. is growing by leaps and bounds. Our homeless shelters are filled with families, now.. that leaves the singles sleeping outside somewhere, or in cars.. but it must be hard for itinerants’ children and these newly poor without a permanent address, let alone boots..

We need affordable housing, and a decent living wage. People don’t WANT financial assistance for the most part – they’d rather support their families, but others’ wealth (not necessarily greed, but that, too) is making it impossible.
# gabrielleon 11 May 2007 at 11:38 pm

Hi teresa! Whew! I almost lost you to Akismet spam. Hope that won’t happen again.

Great to hear from you. We miss your posts. Yes, you’ve had a lot of first-hand experience with this in the school system. It must have been very hard on you to feel trapped in these situations that you couldn’t do anything about. I think I remember you mentioning “Nickel and Dimed” on your previous site, but I haven’t read it.
# gabrielleon 12 May 2007 at 12:04 am

I wonder though, Gypsy, even though they can’t respond, “Oh, I turned out alright” at the moment, I wonder if later they will see that their compassion has grown as a result of it. I think this is very often the case.
# gypsyon 12 May 2007 at 12:59 am

Hi Teresa!

I dunno, G.. you may be right. And God turns all to the good, that’s for sure, but my Ohio beauty and her own daughter have “adopted” (both in wallet and in heart) a poor old lady in a third world country, and I don’t think they even knew I’d done the same once for a poor and sick old man in India. (They’ve all grown in compassion for the poor from their own not having and then having, but I’m not sure they grew from classroom neglect/taunts/physical attacks, etc.)
# Driftwoodon 12 May 2007 at 10:27 am

Oh this pressed a few of my buttons. I came from a poor background but was sheltered from the reality by my loving mother and two older sisters. It was only on reaching adulthood that I came to know the truth. I have gained twofold on realising the goodness and self sacrifice of my family (all passed on now) this swells my heart with an overwhelming love for them and a greater insight into being non-judgemental.
# Gabrielleon 13 May 2007 at 10:18 pm

This intrigues me, Driftwood. How did they manage to shelter you from the reality? If you come back to read here, can you give me a few examples, in hindsight?
# Terry Nelsonon 14 May 2007 at 10:02 am

This is really touching – when I was little I had the same sentiments – especially, “Being ashamed when your dad can’t find a job” I remember being perplexed in 5th grade when we had to stand up in front of everyone and tell everyone what kind of work our dads did. I pretended to not know, and Sister said I should and scolded me. I was so embarrassed. I thought it only happened to me however – now I see poor kids have the same experience.
# gabrielleon 15 May 2007 at 9:34 am

I know. My dad died when I was little, and my mom’s salary wasn’t very high. We weren’t impoverished, but these responses really brought me back as well.

I like the program they had set up in my son’s Catholic elementary school. It was set up, and then just taken as a matter of course year after year, that we all brought in gently used items, like outgrown rollerblades, ice skates, snowsuits, etc., and the teachers distributed them discreetly to those who wouldn’t have them otherwise.